Embracing Lament: We can be sure Jesus understands how we feel

When a caregiver shouts at the ceiling, alone with her frustration;
when she weeps in her car after placing her husband in a care community;
when she greets him with a smile, but he doesn’t say her name;
when the losses pile up, and the strength to face them fades away—
in situations like those and many like them, the caregiver can survive if she knows someone understands.

Hopefully, you’ve experienced this. You’ve found a support group, you have a faithful friend, or you’ve read a good book on the subject of dementia, and you’ve discovered the benefit a caregiver may need most: the sure knowledge that you’re not alone. You’re not crazy. Your situation has been faced by others. They survived, and so will you.

There”s a spiritual dimension to this. We have a God who is not aloof or above our distress. His Son, our Savior was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3).

The prophet’s words, written centuries before his birth, are echoed in another writer’s summary of Jesus’ life, written after his resurrection: “He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin” (Hebrews 4:15). That reality gives us confidence that he can understand our struggles.

Jesus quoted a question from today’s reading as he writhed, suffering toward death on the cross: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” By ourselves at night with little more than our grief and our fears, we may have felt the same emotion.

The psalmist immediately followed these words with memories of God’s blessings in past generations. But then quickly he returned to lament, as if to say, “Yeah, I know what they say you did, but I’m in trouble, and I need something from you now.” 

We do well to heed the advice given by the writer of Hebrews. Because Jesus understands brokenness and loss,  “let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help” Hebrews 4:15, 16, The Message).

More than once I have told God, “When I see your answer to my prayer, I will give you the glory for the outcome.” This seems to be the psalmist’s conviction (v. 22). Like him, we can look with hope for relief someday and promise God, “I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you.”

Read: Psalm 22
Listen: “Forsaken Psalm 22” Official Lyric Video by Aaron Shust
Pray: “When I feel forsaken, Lord, help me remember the assurances of your Word, that you are with me even if I feel alone.”