Shared story: How caregiving has affirmed for me a simple truth
Today’s shared story is by Martha Brammer
who lives with her husband, Howard, at the Christian Village at Mason, Ohio.
“Your Time Is Valuable. Share It.”
This was the title of an article I recently read in a magazine designed for senior citizens. It caught my eye because I would have expected it to say, “Your time is valuable. Hang on to it.”
What I’ve learned
I learned a lot about sharing valuable time with others when I worked as a volunteer coordinator in a nursing home back in Indiana. I observed how kind and loving the volunteers were without expecting a whole lot in return. They knew how valuable their time was, but they chose to share it anyway.
I learned a lot about sharing my time when my sons were in school. Teachers needed decorations on their bulletin boards, drama classes needed costumes made, and someone always needed a sign painted.
My husband pastored a church in Indianapolis for 24 years. During that time, I had many opportunities to share my time with others. My volunteering included all ages, but my favorite was helping the senior citizens.
I started a program called Loving Friends. Young adults were assigned to an elderly parishioner. They would check on them regularly and perform odd jobs when needed. The loving bond that developed between these “friends” was heartwarming.
Martha and Howard posed this summer with their six-weeks-old great grandson.
Little did I know then that one day I would be sharing my valuable time as a caregiver to my husband, Howard, who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease several years ago.
Howard has been fortunate because the progression has been slow. For so long he was able to enjoy life with few limitations. However that has all changed. He is now a resident in the Special Care unit at the Christian Village at Mason, Ohio.
Letting go
My goal as his caregiver is to give him the extras that the nursing staff can’t provide: sitting by the lake in his wheelchair while basking in the afternoon sun, bringing him a chocolate malt from the nearby United Dairy Farmers, or watching a Reds game on his TV. (Even if I’m not a sports fan!)
Basking in the sun by the lake at the Christian Village at Mason.
Every caregiver has a unique calling. I have found the best way for me to help Howard is to let go of all the things I have held onto over the years. I had to let go of the plans I had for our retirement and be grateful for the travels we were able to enjoy.
I also had to let go of the plans I had for myself because I, too, have been diagnosed with the same disease. Our neurologist said it isn’t often that a husband and wife both have Parkinson’s, but it does happen. We are proof of that!
Discovering joy
I am thankful to be in a place where our needs are met. Howard receives wonderful care from the nursing staff while we both benefit from the help our physical therapist provides.
I have been able to remain in the garden home we once shared. Howard’s room is within walking distance, which makes daily visits convenient. Life is good here. God has blessed us beyond measure, and we are very grateful.
Part of the reason I feel so blessed is discovering the truth of the simple phrase. Yes, my time IS valuable. And I’ve found such joy because I’ve shared it!
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