Shared story: I’m determined to find the joy in each new day

Today’s shared story comes from Leslie Barton, Cincinnati, Ohio.

Our journey with Alzheimer’s began about six years ago when I began to notice my husband, Gene, having trouble putting his words together. He had a lot of word-finding issues that were making communication challenging. Then he began getting confused about dates and times.

At first, I was the only one who noticed this. The kids and grandkids seemed oblivious to the changes because they weren’t around him as often as I was. Then one day all the kids were over and we were getting ready to play a game we had played as a family for years. Gene said, “Well if you want me to play this game, you’ll have to teach me, because I’ve never played it before.”

“We don’t take many pictures of the two of us,” Leslie said, but found this smiling pose from November 2021.

Almost in unison the kids looked at me with wide eyes wondering what in the world was wrong with their dad. I explained to them later that I had been noticing some changes for a while and we were seeing a neurologist.

It was several years and two neurological psychological evaluations later when we got the official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. This was in October 2020. This December we will celebrate our 47th wedding anniversary.

Routine

We have settled into somewhat of a routine. Gene no longer drives and only occasionally talks on the phone, but so far he is not a wanderer, so I can run errands or occasionally have lunch with a friend. His balance is not good and he uses a cane, so our days of outdoor adventures and travel have been severely limited. That has been one of the biggest adjustments. We used to love hiking in the woods, but those days are gone.

Joy

A recurring theme for Gene, especially shortly after his diagnosis and still on occasion, is his concern for the future and how his disease will affect me. He routinely worries that the care he needs will become a burden to me.

The recurring theme I continually share with him is that God is walking this journey with us, and when we borrow trouble and worry about the future we steal the joy God has for us today.

And there is joy! We still find things to laugh about. We enjoy drives in the country and an occasional dinner out. Those have become less often as his food tastes have changed, and often when we get to a restaurant he can’t find anything on the menu he wants.

Gratitude

I have been starting my day every day by writing down at least three things I’m grateful for, and this starts my day on a positive note. Then when challenges arise, and they do, I am reminded of God’s goodness in my life. In our house, we are determined to take just one day at a time, relying on God, and not to jump into the future and steal the joy God is giving us today.