Shared story: I’m focusing on enjoying each day with my husband

Today’s Shared Story is by Joyce Gearhardt Beheler,
Indianapolis, Indiana

Rod, my husband of 53 years, has always been an energetic, happy fellow who loves people, loves to work hard, doesn’t think twice about helping others, and loved to study and preach God’s Word.  He grew up on a dairy farm in Ohio, and I was a city girl from Indiana. We met at Cincinnati Bible College in 1968.  Prior to graduating college, we married and began our first of five ministries.

Our passion

Working together in the ministry was our passion. God blessed us with 45 years of ministry, impacting many people in Indiana and Wisconsin. But in his early 60s, at our last church, I realized Rod was having memory issues. In July 2016, we retired and moved closer to our three adult children and their families in central Indiana. 

Joyce and Rod posed for this picture this month.

The kids urged us to get Rod evaluated, and he was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. He has since progressed to dementia, is unable to drive, and has lost the ability to do most of the things he was passionate about. Over the last one-and-a-half years, he participated in an Alzheimer’s clinical trial.

My confusion

Getting the news of dementia and possible Alzheimer’s threw me into a sea of confusion and wanting answers that are not easily found. Getting information from the Alzheimer’s Association was very helpful. But it definitely is an unchosen journey for the patient, caregiver, and family. 

But we are not alone! Many are on this journey as well. That is why encouraging blogs, support groups, and researching the topic all help us to know more about the disease. 

Communication gets challenging with our loved one who has the disease; it takes a lot of patience, commitment, and love to try to understand what they are saying to you. It’s hard, so very hard at times. Seeing your vibrant loved one change so much is a loss that makes us grieve. Our lives must change as our patient changes. It seems we just get used to the new way and then we have to readjust again.

My challenge

Through all this, I am reminded of a Bible character with a huge faith that God would lead him and his family one day at a time. He left everything he knew without knowing any information about where, when, how, etc. Abram trusted God daily.

That’s what we caregivers must do. I need to be like Abram and trust in God to lead me and my husband day by day. 

I like to know what’s ahead; I’m as a planner by nature and I don’t like risks. This has been a huge challenge and God has grown me in many ways! But with God at the steering wheel and the Holy Spirit as my comforter, strength, and helper, I’m learning to say, “One day at a time, sweet Jesus! I know you have this.”

I’m focusing on enjoying each day with my husband. We try to laugh and remember what we have accomplished in our lives and the people’s lives we have touched. Though we have hard days and life is like a yo-yo right now, I am thankful for a God who listens and comes to help me through the rough spots.

Just one day at a time, dear caregivers! Don’t worry or fret. He knows what you need and cares for you daily.  We will make it through this unchosen journey.