Through the decades, our life has been filled with love notes
Today’s Shared Story is written
by Barbara Wells, a retired office manager living in Rittman, Ohio.
Fred and I met and fell in love when we were students at Cincinnati Bible Seminary in 1963. He used to write the sweetest notes to me. I remember on Sweetest Day he gave me some nuts and wrote that he was nuts about me. I never was the kind to write notes and even express myself in the way he easily did. We were married in 1964.
Our life was rich and full. Fred served in full-time ministry for 10 years and then worked in various factories in the Rittman, Ohio area. His part-time retirement job was for a nursing home, driving a wheelchair-access van and transporting residents to doctor’s appointments. We were active members of Northside Christian Church in Wadsworth, Ohio, where Fred served some years as an elder, head of the shepherding program, and a teacher of kids and later adults. For 16 years, he sang bass in the barbershop quartet, “Four Giving.”
Early signs
Fred began to show signs of memory loss in 2019. When he became wheelchair bound, I became his caregiver. When I needed to be away, I felt he would be okay by himself for up to a few hours. I decided to buy a dry-erase board and write something like, “I am going to Wadsworth to get my hair cut. Be back by 3:00 p.m.” I would always sign it with a big heart. Sometimes on my return, I would see that he had written me a note beneath that.
Barb and Fred, 2018
As Fred’s Alzheimer’s progressed, I needed to write notes telling him I was out in the garden or just a block away at water aerobics and that I would return soon. Each time I added a big heart at the bottom of my note.
Soon I realized I should not be leaving him unattended. I started hiring someone when I had errands, or our daughter would stop by to give me a break.
Necessary move
Constantly in my prayers I was telling the Lord I could not do this much longer, and he answered my prayer in February 2024 when Fred fell and then suffered a mild stroke that landed him in the hospital for six days. From there he went to rehab at the Apostolic Christian Home, only three miles from our home in Rittman.
He had no lingering signs of stroke, so his rehab was limited to a few weeks. After that time, he became a permanent resident of the Home. It is a great place with a Christian atmosphere. I could not ask for a better fit for Fred, and for me as I visit and become acquainted with residents and staff.
We celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary at the Home on May 29th, and he held our six-month-old great granddaughter so lovingly. It was a touching scene. However, later when I wheeled him to his room, he had no memory of that.
Loving reminders
In the last month he has become more and more agitated, wanting to go home, missing me if I am not there, and generally confused about where he is. We were all at a loss until the social worker suggested I write love notes and place them in an envelope with Fred’s name and leave them at the receptionist’s desk, in the circle where residents wheel themselves to speak to the person there.
So I composed love notes. These are simple messages to say I love and miss him, and I will come as soon as I can. Some say I will be there the next day and will bring the Scrabble board or the Mexican Train game. (Fred is very intelligent and still does well at all games and quizzes.) I just left some off at the desk today saying, “I look forward to July 3 when we will gather to celebrate your 83rd birthday. I love you so much. (Heart shape) Barbara.”
After a wonderful Father’s Day with our son and family this year, Fred and I were sitting alone in the courtyard where there are beautiful flowers in planters. He wheeled over and picked me one and gave it to me…his love note.
