Happy birthday? I’m not unhappy, but as I celebrate today I’ll focus on a more substantive emotion.

We want to associate “joy” with “happiness,” but anyone coping with loss longs for something deeper. And this joy, when we find it, sometimes comes with pain.

Any of us might seek a calling to something grand and important. But I’ve decided my calling today is the person right in front of me.

Many have told me “you must take care of yourself.” I’ve never disagreed, but I’m still figuring out how to do what they’re suggesting.

Do you cry? I know I’m not the only one who puddles up often. And now that I’m a caregiver, I’m coming to understand what’s behind some of those tears.

“I don’t know if I’m a companion or a caregiver.” “Why choose? Why can’t you be both?” There’s hope and joy for me in that answer.

I was a caretaker two years before I was willing publicly to wear the label. Today I’m thinking about what taking that step has accomplished for me.

Of everything added to my growing list of caregiver duties, to remember feels the most urgent.