Not perfect, of course, but really, we’ve had a very good week
We’re having good days.
Last week was filled with Valentine’s celebrations. Dear, kind friends brought gifts and smiles to Evelyn: candy and hand lotion and homemade snacks.
Thanks to Donna for a loving touch and a yummy homemade snack. (I’m pretty sure Evelyn’s glad to share with me!)
They claimed to have nice visits with her; it is gracious of them to say so. She is almost always pleasant, and when we keep chatting with her, she responds with funny or sweet remarks. But it’s work for the visitor, and I so appreciate the effort.
I never would have guessed how much it means to me that others come to see her.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Friday, Artis had a Valentine’s party for all the residents, and when I arrived I saw Evelyn’s goody bag filled with candy and Valentines signed by each of the facility’s administrators.
Valentines for every resident.
After that was a nice family Valentine’s luncheon, a good meal accompanied by music from a magnificent violinist, all in a room decorated with red and pink. It was a pleasant diversion.
Grateful for tender care
Unfortunately, Friday night Evelyn was sick. Most of those living in her wing were sick, I’m told, with a stomach virus that had the aides changing bedsheets and night clothes all night long. Many residents needed showers before morning. Evelyn slept most of the day Saturday and Sunday. I visited both days but simply sat in her room and played music on my phone and watched her sleep.
The nurses and aides gave tender care, and one of my private-pay aides, Jessica, gave nonstop attention for a couple of hours each evening: washing her face, adjusting her pillow, encouraging her to drink, urging the nurse to come check her temperature and oxygen level, feeding her a few bites Saturday evening and more than a few Sunday evening.
It was hard to see Evelyn sick. It was wonderful to see how so many helped her. (But I felt bad when Jessica came down with presumably the same virus yesterday morning.)
Glad I made the effort
Sunday I woke up to a howling snowstorm. The overnight rain had changed to snow about 7:00 a.m. Because of the rain, the highway department had not salted the roads, and I saw only a couple of ruts in the snow on our street. I was scheduled to teach a class at church, help serve Communion, and meet some friends for lunch. Otherwise, I’m sure I would have just stayed home.
When my SUV lumbered out of the neighborhood, I could see the main highway was totally untreated and uncleared. Visibility was very limited; the cold wind was blowing the snow everywhere. I’ll just go back home, I thought, but I couldn’t see a driveway or parking lot I’d be sure to get out of once I got in. So I just kept driving.
It took me probably 40 minutes to make the typically 20-minute trip. I got there too late to serve Communion, but the small crowd was ably handled by the servers who showed up. I was afraid I’d get there and find they’d cancelled services, and I’m glad they didn’t.
I had long, nurturing conversations with several friends between services. I thought about skipping the class I was supposed to teach, but two fellows were ready for us to meet, one regular and one visitor. So we had a spirited discussion of a passage from 2 Timothy, and we all three are the better for it.
Blessings and brunch, and three examples for me to imitate.
After church I had lunch with three other fellows who come to church alone on Sundays. It dawned on me weeks ago that several of us at church are in that category. In fact, all three of these guys have been alone at church for some time. In all those years Evelyn and I hurried off alone to enjoy lunch after church, I never thought to invite any single to join us.
I regret that.
Sundays can be very long when you’re by yourself, especially if you were once happily married. I’m grateful for more than one friend who has invited me to lunch on Sundays since Evelyn has moved. And I’m glad I had the idea to reach out to others like me; they all jumped at the chance to get together.
I suppose I thought I was doing something good for them. But the blessing was all mine. That’s partly because Pat asked us each to share a blessing from the week just past.
Sharing our blessings
He told us about mustering the courage to visit a dying friend at the same hospice facility where his wife died 22 months ago. He dreaded going back to the place where his family had suffered through five hellish days, he said. But he felt he crossed a bridge and took a step forward to stand and meditate in the very room where she had died. It was a blessing to hear his story.
Rick told about the work he’s doing mentoring and tutoring inner city kids with a ministry that has seen dozens of such young men graduate high school and go on to successful careers because of its influence. It was a challenge to know of this work.
Tom mentioned he cleaned his daughter’s whole house one day while she and her husband were away for lunch. She’d been home recovering from recent surgery and refusing his repeated offers to clean for her. He waited till she was finally out of the house so he could get it done. It was an example to see his joy to serve.
I shared that I was able to recruit a private-pay aide to replace one who decided to resign from her service to me and Evelyn. I highly valued all she did for Evelyn, and she was with her four or five days every week.
But within 24 hours, a third person, who had subbed for us some, worked it out to be with Evelyn three days most weeks. Jessica, who had been praying for eight more hours of regular work, is now able to visit with Evelyn four days instead of two most weeks (four hours each day).
The way this has worked out is a blessing for all of us.