Shared story: ‘Whatever happens, we will see it through together’

Today’s shared story comes from Dianne Greenfield, Des Moines, Iowa

We have this metal sign hanging in our hallway.  It’s the title of a song John Lennon wrote (based on a phrase from a poem by Robert Browning), recorded by Mary Chapin Carpenter. 

It was one of my husband’s favorite songs, so I gave him this sign for our anniversary a few years ago. (This June was our 49th anniversary.)

Now when I see it, I think that what we’re experiencing now can’t be “the best.” Our life has not turned out as we once imagined it would. We imagined taking trips in the winter months and enjoying our lake house in the summer.  Instead, I am a full-time caregiver for my husband, Kim, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. He is 70 years old and has changed significantly during the six years since his diagnosis. He was a salesman for 40 years, always talking to customers or potential customers, never knowing a stranger. Now he struggles to speak at all and rarely leaves the house.

Many emotions

As a caregiver, I have gone through many emotions including anger, frustration, anxiety, and uncertainty. I have tried to educate myself about the disease, and I joined a support group in 2020. I am still learning how to handle new situations every day as circumstances change. Sometimes I figure it out on my own, sometimes I get support/advice from members of my support group or family, and sometimes I receive advice from professionals.

None of us chose this journey. All of us need to find meaning in each unexpected turn of the path, confidence for each new faltering step.

We will see it through

As I reread the words of the song, I realized how much the words do represent us.  We are “two branches of one tree, facing the setting sun.”  The branches have sprouted beautifully over the years adding three children, three in-laws, and now seven grandchildren. Our tree has stood tall for 40 years growing into a sturdy tree, thriving through all the trials and also through all the happy times life has thrown at us.  

So (as the song says), “Whatever fate decrees, we will see it through.”  We don’t know how much time we have left, but we will see it through together.

Our family in August 2021, missing one son-in-law and the new baby born in March 2022